Confessions of a young Black Man

Confessions of a young Black Man

They say the first step is acceptance right? Well consider this my confession. I accept that I am currently a master procrastinator. Living life under the guise of a productive person of which in truth, I am anything but. 

So here’s the tea, I’m really good at helping other people, encouraging them to pursue their dreams, to reach for what they really want out of life. If only I was as good at doing this for myself. Many of my minions have taken advice from me, ran with it and literally changed their lives before my very eyes. There are very few things in life that make me happier than seeing this happen, it’s fulfilling, it’s beautiful, it’s alchemy itself. But in the spirit of keeping it 100, I want some of that magic for myself now. I am ready! Not tryna be that guy who talks the talk but can’t walk the walk; God forbid. One must, as the kids say these days, be about that life. No more excuses…but maybe more confessions…. 

So I’m also really good at doing everything but the things I actually really really want to do. So this is me confessing again, putting myself on blast and making myself accountable. I’m on a mission to be more productive, to finish the things I start but more importantly I’m on a mission to stop moaning, stop complaining, stop being miserable and drum roll please…. stop making excuses! I’m ready to fall in love with life itself, or at very least see if it’s possible for someone like me, Leian aka Captain Cuss-A-Lot, son of Winston, wonderful man but Winge-Bag Extraordinaire – I mean if complaining was an Olympic sport my dear Father would be a gold medallist, he would be Bolt–  but before I start moaning about him let me stop right here. Moral of the story folks, don’t blame it on the genes, it’s true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree but we always have a choice! And in this moment I choose to focus on and pursue joy, love, light and blessings. 

I’m ready to live the life I know is waiting for me, ready to be a warrior of light in this wicked, weird and wonderful world. Get ready for a quote/cliché, I use a lot of them. I am ready to be who I was born to be. Even if that means not fitting in. Even it means standing out. Even it means making myself and others uncomfortable in the process. 

I’m learning that discomfort is often the space where growth and transformation take place. So when the feeling comes do not fear or complain about it. Welcome it instead, like a long lost relative who’s turned up at your door with a gift so great it will change you forever. 

Growth is a drug that I’m addicted to. Of all things one could be addicted to I think it’s a pretty good one, especially as anything that isn’t growing is usually dead. Right? Gotta. Keep. Growing. I’m on a mission to become the very best version of myself I can be. 

I invite you to join me on my journey of self-love. I want to fall in love with myself, fall in love with life itself, so I can truly be a source of love and light in this world and love others in the best way I can. As somewhat of an Alien, I currently have a love-hate relationship with humans, yet another thing I’m proactively working on lol… but this blog is for all my fellow Lost Boys/Girls. The Aliens. The Alternatives; who know deep down there is more to life than this rat race version of existence. 

This is for the people trying their best to be all God made them to be, warts and all. For those who don’t fit in, for those who know the world is fucked right now and can understand that for any and every generation, the world only gets unfucked when those who lead with love speak up, speak out and follow it with action, that’s real change, that’s real progress. 

This is for those who know the pain of doing nothing is worse than the pain of remaining the same, remaining small, remaining silent. For those who know deep down they need to not only find their voice but use it.  Every generation believes the word is fucked, the “end times” yet here we are, here now, thinking it too. That can only mean that each, yes every generation (including us) has to fight for the light, fight for love, for all that separates that from its’ opposite is commitment and consistency. So let’s commit. Let’s be consistent. 

Not sure if I’ve watched too many Disney movies, taken this real life Simba thing too seriously and lost the plot, but if there’s a way to life the life you love, to be happy, healthy, wealthy, and open to abundant blessings then I’m sure as hell ready to find out.  This is either going to be a huge success, or absolute banter. Either way I’m hoping I’ll end up with a smile on my face and the end of It all. 

That’s all folks, Be Brave and Let Love Lead Your Way.

Written by: @leiandarell – Leian Darell

#blacklivesmatter #houseofblack #chooselove

 


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